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A Perfect Game

March 2, 2010

Hello again faithful readers.  If you only get your news from the Sunday “news” shows, you won’t be familiar with the subject of today’s post because apparently it’s worth spending a large part of your limited time discussing the status of the White House social secretary.  Er, ex-secretary.  I stopped caring about the White House dinner crashers 5 minutes after it happened and I care even less about the social secretary.  But I digress, much like the pundits on the roundtable of This Week, much to the chagrin of Paul Krugman.

In pursuit of “bipartisanship” and general good-naturedness, which might well be mistaken for general assholery if you weren’t looking carefully enough, Senator Jim Bunning has made his stand against the forces of evil in the form of totally pointless, mean-spirited obstructionism of the n-th degree.  If you missed the irony in the first half of the previous sentence, then I suggest you read all of my posts from the very beginning to get the flavor of the writing.  Go on, it’ll make you feel better.  Again, I digress, damn those Sunday shows.

Anyway, Senator Bunning has blocked 1.2 million Americans from receiving an extension on their unemployment benefits.  Lovely right?  What a nice guy.  You know, because nothing says hard-heartedness compassionate conservatism like blocking necessary unemployment benefits for Americans that are out of work in this lovely job-producing environment.  Americans, who unlike Sen. Bunning, don’t have a job and probably don’t have lovely all-inclusive health benefits that may just be the Rolls Royce of health plans in this country.

When Senator Merkley asked Bunning to give up his political obstructionism, the grand old man from Kentucky told him “tough shit.”  What a nice guy.  My heart’s getting all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it.  And the whole point is because he wants the money to come from stimulus funds rather than from deficit spending.  That’s so funny because you know, Senator Bunning voted against the stimulus, and was all for deficit spending for the largest tax cuts in history.  So if he had his way, there would be no stimulus money to get the benefit extension from. 

Unemployment and COBRA benefits are currently covered under last year’s stimulus package.  But Bunning is making his senility and cruelness stand on deficit reduction known, not through war funding but on preventing another month of benefits to fall to the people that are in desperate need.  All in the name of the (re)newed Paygo provisions that he didn’t vote for in the first place!  Deficit hawk indeed.  Thank goodness for public servants, like Bunning who are willing to sacrifice watching their home state basketball team in order to make this important and vital argument.  Right?  I know. 

And dems aren’t off the hook either.  Yeah Dick Durbin, way to carry through a threat!  The thing is, in his former career, Jim Bunning was amazing.  In a completely non-ironic 5280.5 kind of way.  He’s in the Baseball Hall of Fame and is one of only 18 pitchers to have pitched a perfect game.  Ever. 

A perfect game, for those of you not in the know, is 27 batters up, 27 batters down with no batter reaching first base.  No hits, no walks, no hit batsman, nothing.  And Jim Bunning pitched such a perfect game on June 21, 1964.  His Philadelphia Phillies (don’t get me started on the Phillies- see my About page for the main reason why) beat the New York Mets 6 -0 that day.  That day Jim Bunning’s perfect game broke the National League’s 84 year drought since its previous (and first) one. 

Alas, his actions this week and in particular on Friday are so very, very far from that perfect game.  There certainly is something to be said for quitting while you’re ahead and opening a car dealership.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. anonymous uncle permalink
    April 3, 2010 5:38 pm

    You know, you seem to be picking on my home boys a lot. Jim Bunning happens to be my senator (he really is two tacos shy of a combination plate). John Boehner’s district is 2 miles from my house (as a bird flies). I’m convinced the orange coloring is actually caused by high altitude radiation from all of his shuttling between Cincinnati and DC. And my other senator is Mitch McConnell … he is certainly deserving of a shout out in your blog. The skeleton in his closet involves the sealing of his VERY short military career records. Talk about another (R) yet to be exposed (as compared to outed … seems he possibly just used the men’s shower room to get out of the military, or so I’ve read … interesting stuff on Google). Great blog!!!


  1. Thoughts on Empire « 5280.5

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